Trick or Treat, Smell Our Feet

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SO glad that is over. This year's Bataan Candy March went better than expected, actually. Tea had full appreciation for all of the amazing stuff we saw, Gianni got a metric buttload of candy, and no one TP'ed our house. So I have to call it a success. But one paid for in parent blood.

To Catch the Streetcar! (Please ignore the exhausted mom)

I can't possibly fit all of the thrills, chills, and excitement of Halloween 2006 in one blog post, so here's a cop-out Halloween Index detailing our ghoulish night.

Number of toddler costumes planned out in elaborate detail: 1
Number of elaborate toddler costumes actually made by Mom: 0

Approximate bedtime after coloring Gianni's costume: 11:45 pm
Number of hours of sleep saved by not piecing together Tea's Pluto costume, too: at least 4

Number of Polito dogs embarrassed with humiliating costumes: 0
Number of neighborhood dogs embarrassed with same: approximately 2200

Number of toddlers seen dressed up as chickens, including Tea: 3
Number of babies seen dressed up as pumpkins: 12 million and 3

Number of household pumpkins smashed out of 8: 1 (Yes we had 8 pumpkins for 2 households, SHUT UP)
Number of Kleenex ghosts stolen from the front of our house: ALL OF THEM (fuckers)

More stats:

Best costume, teenage division: Girl dressed up as the Mona Lisa painting
Best costume, kid division: Gianni dressed up as the F-line Streetcar (I'm biased, but it was really super cool.)
Most hideous sight, all-ages division: Young trick-or-treater talking on a cell phone while hitting a house. No candy for you, kid. Even an agent wouldn't be that crass.
Best impersonation of a Spielberg movie: Belvedere Street
Best house on Belvedere: The modern one, where they did a window display of Monsters Inc, complete with life-sized Sully, papier mache Mike (also life-sized), Boo's room, and a Scream Catcher. Same house did Finding Nemo the year before, and the year before that, under construction, the owner dressed up as Spiderman and climbed the wooden frame and threw out candy. Yeah, the kids really hated it.
Best Pumpkin: Intricately carved portrait. Either they commissioned Van Gogh to rise from the dead and carve their pumpkin or someone has a) too much free time, and/or b) no kids.
Worst Pumpkin: Any of mine. Seriously, they really blew. The special pumpkin carving knife? Don't believe the hype.
Best Candy (tie): Anything chocolate, natch, and special 6-year-old judges' ruling for the Froot by the Foot given out at the Monsters Inc house.
Worst Treats (tie): A Pencil (a PENCIL?? thanks, but we have a pencil, Poindexter) Are You Made of Chocolate? Then no.

And.... a small bag filled with popsicle sticks. Yes, just the sticks. May actually be the Worst Treat Ever. What were they THINKING? Do our kids look like beavers? What the hell are we supposed to do with five popsicle sticks? If we buy a box, we get 6 sticks AND POPSICLES. I can only hope that someone spelled out "Fuck You" in popsicle sticks on their front porch. Oh, except you would need more than five. Assholes.

Even WE think popsicle sticks are a sucky treat!