The thought of a "missed connection" in a town as claustrophobic as Bloomington is to laugh. From my experience, a MC on Craiglist Bloomington would look something like this:
Tsk, Tsk, Tsk(Note that Joe Smith is a. a flaming homosexual, and/or b. deals coke to grade-school kids)
Reply to: pers-177698478@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-02, 5:45PM EST
Julia Lynn McCullough, of the brown house on Winslow Road, you walked past me at the IU game on Saturday afternoon. Don't think I didn't smell that cigarette smoke in your hair and on your jacket, young lady. I really don't think you should be hanging out with that Andrews girl--she is such a bad influence. I think she is on drugs, are you on drugs too? I will be calling your parents tonight. They are such nice people and I really I have no choice, I'm only doing it because I care about you and them and I'm concerned. By the way, why did you break up with that nice Joe Smith? He is so handsome and such a good athlete and you know, his dad makes a lot of money. You could do a lot worse, dear.
It's not that bad. But there are some good ones. Some of my favorites:
need a threesome baaad ;) - mw4w - 22
Reply to: pers-177798478@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-02, 5:45PM EST
hi! my bf and i are looking for single female to have a threesome w/. his birthday is next week and i want to surprise him!!! pref. an asian girl but will consider other types as long as u r hot!! LOL. this is a one time thing i'm ONLY doing this for his bday!!! -kim
Hilarious because first of all, despite the world-class university, Bloomington is a really. small. town. My dad probably bought bagels from these people last week. And second, they actually posted a PICTURE.
Who posts a picture for a threesome ad on Craigslist? (Although, hey, they're cute! I'd do 'em.)
Gotta love this one, too:
Where can a nice looking guy go to get a good bj in this town?
Reply to: pers-179922208@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-09, 12:02AM EST
Where's the best public place to get a good blow job in this town? I don't care if it's from a man or a woman.
Depends on what you are looking to gain from the experience, sir! If you're a sucker for Hoosier tradition, try the Well House, or the center line at Assembly Hall. There's nothing like those red banners waving to enhance a good BJ. If you want maximum exposure, try the Courthouse Square on a weekday! And if you want to freak the shit out of some proper Bloomington matrons, a table at Peterson's bakery at noon. Tell 'em I sent you. Happy hunting!
Another gem:
I hate this fucking town
Reply to: pers-177786162@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-02, 4:53PM EST
I hate the fucking immature girls (and they are GIRLS, not women) in this town who care only about looks and how much shit their parents will buy them.
I hate the idiot east coasters who walk around this campus like they own the place because they come from money.
I hate people from Indianapolis. First of all, everyone within an hour of the damn place claims to be from "the city" when they're from a suburb. Second, they think it's a real city. Go to New York, Chicago, hell, even Boston or Miami. Those are real cities. They have sports teams that don't consistently choke too.
I hate the illegals and foreign exchange students who choose to live here but refuse to speak English.
I hate the rednecks here who also barely speak English.
I hate the Goddamn university bureaucracy that shoves diversity down our throats just to make themselves feel good.
I hate the fucking professors who don't actually teach anything but still walk around with an unwarranted sense of accomplishment.
All in all I hate this fucking town. If I didn't need a degree (which I now know doesn't prove you know jack shit) to get a job I would never spend a minute in this town and after I'm gone next year I will never come back. Nor will IU ever get a cent of my money. Fuck this place.
Can't really argue with that one.
And finally, the quintessential Bloomington post:
Totally loving that there is a place actually referred to as "Dicks at the Mall." Huh-huh. Uh-heh-heh-heh. (Let's pretend they didn't clarify that it's a sporting goods shop.)The new big building by Dicks at the Mall
Reply to: pers-180176922@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-09, 9:13PM EST
Does anyone have any idea what the big building near Dicks Sporting Goods is going to be over at the mall? There is no signage yet, and I am just really curious! Thanks.
Followed by the quintessential Bloomington response:
A perfect complement to Dicks at the Mall. Finally they're putting some useful stuff in there. Beats Chick-fil-A any day.re:The new big building by Dicks at the Mall
Reply to: pers-180184929@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-09, 9:41PM EST
Not sure but hopefully it will be a strip club.
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