Tuesday, December 15, 2009

When Animals (and Clients) Attack

Take a picture of this, asshole

When we go on location for video shoots for my job, we often use local crews rather than truck a bunch of crap halfway around the world. Ty did bring his own NTSC camera from the States so we wouldn't have to convert video (Quoth the customs agent in NY, when clearing the camera to go to Jo'burg: "You are going to be killed.") But our crew booking agency also found us a nice, experienced South African crew to do the sound and camera work, as well as make the local production arrangements at the stage.



There doesn't seem to be much of a booming commercial and television industry in South Africa, and compared with the U.S. or Europe, not much of a business market. So I wondered--what does a local crew do down here for work? What do they shoot?



Fuckin' leopards, that's what.



Not leopards as in Leopard, my company. REAL . GODDAMN. LEOPARDS. Preferably ones who are trying to rip your arm off.



"We do a lot of work for the Discovery Channel," Alan, the head of the production company, told me. "We specialize in animal attacks. Crocodile attacks, monkey attacks, leopard attacks. We just did a shark attack a few months ago."



In case you were wondering who the HELL films this shit? Alan's your man. I immediately texted my husband, who has "monkey attack" at the top of his Google news alerts, to tell him that I just spoke to his hero and the source of 90 percent of his Internet entertainment.



Alan told me about the time that his crew went with a safari group to look for leopards. "The guide knew there were leopards there," he said. "She brought everyone up close anyway. And suddenly this leopard jumps out and GRABS HER BY THE SCALP. It was awful." So awful, so what do you do? FILM IT, OF COURSE. Aieeee.



Then Alan shows us his incredibly scarred up arm, apparently caused by an extremely pissed off leopard. Unclear whether it was the same scalp-lovin' leopard. I kind of forgot to ask.



Ah, well. In Omaha, you film Warren Buffett. In Orlando, you film oversized Disney characters. In Africa, you get mangled by leopards. All in a day's work.

No comments: